Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize