He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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