that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
where are my eyebrows?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
