And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
