If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it's like iHOP with fire
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize