out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
