I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
