How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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