Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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