i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
