Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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