You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
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