I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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