i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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