Don't you send me to vm
another moral hangover. fuck.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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