The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
