I wanna bring you to show and tell
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Say something about gay babies.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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