I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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