I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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