When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
