I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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