my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
