She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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