Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
