I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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