Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
