My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
