Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
