i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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