im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize