Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
