i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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