walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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