Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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