how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
