I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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