if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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