you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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