And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
