I'm really into asian looking animals
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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