if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
