Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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