Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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