hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize