my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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