party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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