You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
