Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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