so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
