why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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