I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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