Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize