then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
