that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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