Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
