anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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