We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
