It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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