I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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